it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Houston, we have a blender
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
