just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
