Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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