God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
