Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
