I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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