we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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