I need help removing her.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
