So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
