whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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