love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
