I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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