I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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