im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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