Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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