just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
