I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
