Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
