Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
