My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
