im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
