my mouth tastes like poor choices
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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