all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
