She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
