i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
