I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
