I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
