its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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