Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
