Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
