she told me i tasted like america
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
