and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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