dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
