but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
