I'd wear matching sweaters with you
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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