Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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