Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
