girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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