found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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