Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
