we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
