Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
