shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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