I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
