like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
