some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
