did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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