kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
