I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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