You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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